Oh Little White Lie

We've all done it. Whether it was intentionally or not, it has been done. You may have felt remorse for a little white lie but most of us probably haven't. It is so simple to tell someone you feel fine when you really feel that your whole world is falling to pieces. Most don't see white lies as a problem. It such a little lie. "What could it possibly hurt?" most ask. So let's break it down.

 A lie is to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive. A white lie is still an untrue to statement made to deceive. There is no difference besides the notion that a white lie is smaller and more insignificant only used to spare feelings. Beneath the good intentions, however, the lie is still a lie. As we all know lies have consequences.

 Now, you are probably thinking to yourself that I am bonkers and even though a white lie is technically a lie, it is not the same. Well, I say to you stop right there. Imagine or think upon your relationship. You and your partner have forged a bond and that bond has one significant part, trust. Trust takes time to build and can be the only reason that you are not being stalked by your partner. Let's say that you two are watching a movie and you are not even close to enjoying it. You can tell that your romantic interest loves it. He or she asks you what you thought and you really don't want to say that it sucks. You collect your thoughts, open your mouth and say that you thought the movie was really good. He or she is happy and after that you think nothing of it. Then several months go by and the movie comes on television. Your romantic interest is ecstatic and rushing to go get some popcorn so you two can sit through the two-hour movie together. You could think of a million other ways that you could spend these two hours. So now you have a choice. Do you fess up or do sit through a movie that you really wish was never made? If you fess up there is a chance that you will not have to watch the movie but you now have to face your partner. You have to see the look of confusion and sadness as you explain your disdain for something that he or she likes. As you confess you also put a chink into the trust that you have built. You plant the seed of doubt.

Now I know what you are saying. "How can just a movie destroy someone's trust? It's only a movie." It's not what you lied over but the simple fact that you lied (what you lied over has an impact too). You don't fully lose the trust of a partner by lying over a movie but you do place a little doubt in your lover's head. "If you lied about liking a movie what else are you willing to lie over?" "Have you lied about other things that I like?" "What lie are you going to say next and will this lie be bigger than the last?" One little thought can advance to an overcrowding of "what ifs".

A good relationship thrives with open communication and honesty. Of course it will get hard and of course there will be times where you want nothing more than to quit. If it's worth it you won't. Now I am not saying that you cannot lie or that you will go through a relationship without ever telling a lie. I am also not saying that one should just blurt out whatever comes to mind, just because it is the truth. You may want to sugar coat the truth or not say it at all. It does come down to you.