Bad for Me

There is always one person that plays on the emotions that are offered but returns none. There is that one person who comes back time and time again. That one person is completely bad for you and you know it but you don’t care. You are willing to accept this person as long as he or she continues to come back to you and offer up some heartfelt apology and a glimpse of change.  You want to believe that he or she has changed and isn’t that ruthless person that broke your heart over and over again. You hope that the cheating, lying ways will be nonexistent this time around. You hope that things will work out and you two will be so in love and the past will no longer matter. However, in the deep recess of your mind you know that it will not end in such a happy way. You know that by the end of the week there will be something that threatens the new façade. There will be a glimpse of who he or she truly is. You know it because every time this happens there is always the same result. You know he or she is poison and with every moment that you are with him or her that poison will eat away at you. Never the less you try. You begin again with new hope in your heart and a lie in your head. You beg yourself to forgive them more than he or she does because you want this to work. You put your all into it and watch as he or she contributes very little. Then he or she leaves, taking your heart along for the ride or breaking it, leaving you to pick up the little pieces and mend your heart. You wonder why you let them in. You wonder how you will ever get over this. Mostly you wonder why he or she even decided to enter only to exit. This I have several theories on.

Theory number one is that you have something that he or she can’t get easily. Before you get all excited this isn’t necessarily a good thing. This something would be the main thing that makes you an easy target. Maybe you’re too forgiving. Maybe you are too nice. Perhaps you’re easy to control. Whatever this reason is, the person will take advantage. This may also be reason that the person gives you when he or she leaves. Making you feel that somehow this ending is your fault. This will cause you to blame yourself and not them so the next time that he or she tries to enter the picture you will allow it because he or she chose to come back to you after all that “you” have done. In this theory, he or she is the victim and you are merely the person that continually throws it all away.

The next theory is that you are the support system. This person needs you for whatever reason. In most situations this reason is monetary. You provide for him or her and as long as you continue to do so he and she will continue to come back. He or she will sit around in your house complaining about how the world is so against him or her and the only thing he or she has in this world is you. He or she will get angry and will walk out only to return a few hours later sporting an apology that will melt your heart. You may say that this can fall into the first theory but the way that it ends is significantly different. The person never really leaves and this relationship may never end. You have to be the deciding force to end this relationship.

My final theory is that you are the only or longest relationship he or she has ever known. Although it seems the most farfetched since people change relationships like they change underwear, it is really common. Many people do not like change and most don’t even want to change. So you break up, get back together and break up again every other day. At the end of the day, however, you two are back together. For one person this cycle of break up to make up really takes a toll. For the other it is nothing but a game. A game that when it ends he or she realizes what was lost. Then there will be tears and the promises of change.You hope that these words are true and you give it one more shot only to be disappointed again and again. 

Each of these theories have one common denominator…YOU. So if you feel that a relationship is going in circles and is holding you back from someone that could potentially be the one for you, leave. When you leave never look back. Your past is the past for a reason. 


*previously on my tumblr account*